Dennis’s Blog

“You just love problems, don’t you”. Roughtly said, that was the reaction of one of my friends when I got back from a 2 weeks vacation. And quite frankly, I have to agree…First of all, this blog is starting to become more and more personal with every single post. Not exactly the way I planned back in 2006, but hey. As long as it keeps me happy, who cares?

Point is, during the past few months I’ve been moaning about my trust in the female species diminishing and my personal problems when it comes to pick a mate. At some times it looked like an obvious choice, but still I managed to goof up… and yet again, I did.

Just before the holidays I met a girl who seemed fairly interested in me, and I in her. However, during my holidays I met someone who completely blew my mind. The problem? I already kind of knew her.
The girl in question here happens to be the (little) sister of a girl I once fancied. Although I never really spoke to her, I knew exactly from the first point of contact that I was in trouble: there was no way I could go on with the girl I met before. It simply wouldn’t be fair.

And thus, the pursue began. Well, not exactly pursuing as I wasn’t really after a relationship. I simply wanted to make the holidays a bit more fun by finding a friend. And so, I asked her out for a drink and took her to town for an icecream and walk (not like there was much more to do). The results of that was that I noticed a slight interest in me, and slightly more vice versa. We kind of made a deal to meet up after the holidays even though she’s about 150 kilometres away fom here.

And so it happened: just over a week after our first ‘date’, she walked around at DS-x2 headquarters (read: my hometown). Again, I noticed the bi-directional interest although she also gave out a signal of “no thanks”, not exactly what I was hoping for. Now I know there’s a few points of interest when thinking about getting serious with this girl. Roughly summarized we’ve got distance, trust, religion and age. Of course, my background just screams for a small outline of these poi’s:
- Distance: Not really an issue. Agreed, 150 kilometres is not a travel you’d love to make every day. However, is it mandatory to see each other every day, even at the beginning of a relationship? I think not. In fact, history has taught me that it could squeeze you together so much, you’re considering to bail out.
- Trust: I have to admit, this may be a non-issue from my side only. I happen to have been ‘mamed’ over my past few relationships, meaning I just need someone I can trust. Together with long distances, I could be in for a bad time. However, quite frankly, her background and appearance take away almost every single doubt I have on this point.
- Religion: I was raised a christian. Not the best there is, I’ll be the first to admit that, but I think I know what my religion means and how people should act to oneother. She was raised a christian too, however way and way more serious (read: reformed vs protestantism). Now I don’t know the exact rules of the community, but I do believe that religion should not withstand love. Sure, there are issues originating from the difference of religion (going to church? how to raise children?), but I also believe that if you respect each other and its religion, these issues can be tackled with ease.

Enough pondering on my own, I thought. Not!
As it turns out, it seems like she’s holding herself back (at least, that’s how I’m reading this) because she doesn’t want to fool anyone. Apparently she’s what one could call a ‘heartbreaker’, a really cute and loving type men tend to follow without doubt (guilty as charged). The problem is, that she might not feel the very same and thus may not respond to one’s desires (aware of that). As she claims, a similar situation involving her occurred before and “history should not repeat itself”. Bollocks, or not? From her view, not. I can easily understand her fears of accidentally crushing my feelings, heck I even contribute to that knowing I’m one of those who’d follow as long as crumbles are thrown.
However, the fact that I’m already walking that path, searching for crumbles, opens up a whole new dimension: just act honest to yourself, your feelings and the other one. That way you can never blame yourself of doing anything inappropiate, things will turn out as they should and… the other one will know exactly what he’ll be facing.

To be honest, I’m currently of opinion to take things slow. See how thing evolve but, seeing as the interest appears to be from both sides, make sure you don’t build any walls. I know I won’t be taking up any new dates, I simply have no more desire… I know what I’d prefer and won’t jeopardize that. The only thing worrying me, is her. And that’s where the trust part comes in again: I simply don’t know how she’ll react. Go for someone nearby, to end the chapter called ‘Dennis’, or think this through by both heart and sence and come to a conclusion. Whatever it’ll be, I’ll just have to wait and see. Don’t I just love problems?

This entry was posted on Saturday, August 11th, 2007 at 6:52 pm and is filed under Personal. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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